Playful Spirit-Chapter Seven

When we develop a playful spirit we are changing our attitude about life. This allows us to lighten up and view things in a more playful manner.
There are a few steps to help achieve this playful spirit:
1. Don't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong or doesn't pan out.
2. Look for situational factors that you may learn to accept rather than fight against
3. Visualize absurdities. Make a joke to yourself of something negative.

Although there are many steps listed, I find these three to be the most helpful. I tend to stress myself out a lot, but my parents have helped me realize that sometimes I just need to go with the flow. One saying my dad has used since I was a kid is, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it". I tend to overanalyze things and stress out about things that are either out of my control or can not be dealt with at that time. My father has taught me to have a playful spirit about things. He has shown me that life has a lot of ups and downs and it is important to understand that things aren't always going to work out as planned. In order to get through situations like these, I try my best to lighten my mood and just go with the flow.

Anger-Chapter Seven

Sometimes when I am angry, I blow up. If a situation has gotten out of control and I feel like I don't know how to express myself, I explode. I have only done this with people I am extremely close with. If this happens, it is usually because I feel helpless and can not control my emotions. However, this usually ends badly because it causes the other person to get upset right away.
I usually show some type of emotion during an argument. I wouldn't say I do not express anger at all, but that I express it calmly. If I am upset about something, I will make it known. However, I try my hardest to do so in a way that will allow me and the other person(s) to come to some sort of happy conclusion. Expressing anger calmly allows for a DISCUSSION, not a fight. Of course, any type of discussion can turn into a fight, but it allows you more control over the situation and does not create a tense environment from the start. This always ends up much better than blowing up does.

Three Solutions-Week Eight.

The first solution, balancing work and play, is something that I do on a daily basis. It is really important for me to take care of my priorities such as my job or my school work, but it is just as important to take care of myself and do things that I enjoy. I work as a makeup artist and absolutely love my job and the people that I work with. Although it is considered work, I have a lot of fun doing it. However, when I get home it is my time to relax or do something fun with my boyfriend like take a walk or see a movie.


The second solution, changing the way we feel about our everyday activities, is something that I have been working on this past year. I tend to get cranky and irritated when I am doing something I do not necessarily enjoy, but I have learned that having a positive attitude can change the way I go about my daily activities. Finding joy in the things that I do makes me much happier of a person.


The third solution, integration, explains that joy and pain are oftentimes found in the same place. Life isn't easy, to get to a good or happy place we have to struggle. In order to get good grades in school, I sometimes have to stay up for hours doing research, studying, or writing papers. Although I may experience some pain, I see the joy in this hard work.

Sharing Power- Week Seven

When there is a power struggle in a relationship, one person dominates the other. Abigal and Cahn state that, "to improve the conflict climate, change in the power dimension needs to come from the powerful people, such as bosses, parents and other older family members, and teachers. They must value the input of others to seek to focus on resolving problems" (107). It is important to work together when solving conflicts. The book states that there are several ways to avoid abusing power:

1. Give up some of the more obvious power resources and symbols of authority. 

2. Make power resources available to everyone in the group.

3. Increase levels of interest.

4. The dominating person can give power to the relationship.

When I was younger I was a very bossy to my sister. Because I was older than her, I felt I had more authority and had the ability to "make the rules". This actually led to more conflict because my sister felt that she had no voice in the relationship. As I got older I was able to understand that I was abusing my power as an older sister, and tried to change it. Now, my sister and I hardly ever get into arguments. Because I show that I respect my sister despite our 6 year age difference, we are able to have a relationship where there is no power struggle.

Unbalanced Power Relationship-Week Seven

An unbalanced power relationship is exhausting and unfair. If you are the person with more power, you make all the rules. What you say goes and no one is able to argue that. In some situations, it is important for one person to have the power. For example, parent to child relationships. Although it is important for the parent(s) to have the power or control, it is important for them to still have a healthy and balanced relationship with their children. Even in situations where it is normal to have a person with more power, it is important for them to not completely dominate the other person.

If you are the person with less power, you are at a great disadvantage. It is tiring and draining when you are always being told what to do and how to do it. I often feel bad for the janitors at my job. Most of them do not have great English speaking skills and are women in their forties. Rather than create a relationship with the house keeping staff, I have seen a lot of my coworkers and managers boss them around. Although they may not be out on the sales floor or in meetings all day, their jobs are just as important as ours. If we did not have the housekeeping staff, we would not be able to function. Rather than have an unbalanced power relationship where I am always demanding things from them, I have shown the staff that I appreciate what they do and am always thanking them for their assistance. I have shown them that I do not think that I have power over them, because I don’t. We are all a team and should work together to create a happy environment.

Trust-Week Seven

         When someone breaks my trust, I usually have a hard time forgiving him or her. More often then not, I would rather drop the friendship then give someone a second chance. However, there are a few people in my life that are too important to lose.

         When my boyfriend and I had first started dating, he lied to me about where he was. The lie was stupid and insignificant; he had no real reason to lie to me. Once I found out that he was lying, I felt sick to my stomach. I had put my trust in him and I did not understand how he could play with my emotions like that. My first reaction was to yell. I was furious. I was shouting at him on the phone, but realized it was going nowhere. We ended up talking things out, and I was able to see how truly sorry he was for hurting me.

         The only thing that can restore trust is time. It has been over a year now and sometimes I still second-guess him when he tells me things. However, they only way to get past the problem is to let him show me that he is capable of being honest with me. Because I value our relationship, I decided to work out the problem instead of giving up on him. If lying were a habit in our relationship I would end it, but because we talked about it and he has not lied to me since, I feel as if I made the right decision in letting go of my anger.