Anxiety-Chapter 12

“Anxiety is a tension that occurs when people perceive danger in a situation” (Abigail & Cahn, pg 214). Anxiety happens when people fear things about situations such as, people conflicting with their goals or when they feel wrong about their own actions. Anxiety can also lead to suppressed issues.

When I was in the 4th grade I had a math teacher that used to pick on me in class. For no reason, she would make me cry in front of the other students. Math has always been a subject I struggled with the most, but I was a huge over achiever and wanted to make sure that my grades were perfect. Every night I would stay up with my father trying to do my math homework. My fear of my teacher caused me to spend way too much time perfecting my homework. I would end up going to bed with major anxiety, unable to sleep because I was so stressed out about my math homework. This was a cycle that continued for several months until my mother found out about my teacher harassing me and nearly got her fired.

Attributions- Chapter 12

I have made false attributions a lot while texting. In a text message you are not able to see the person’s facial expressions, read their body language, or hear the tone of their voice. This has caused me to assume things that were not necessarily true. I have a friend that can be pretty blunt at times which causes me to believe she is mad at me. Usually I am able to tell her mood by her facial expressions or the way she says things. However, when we are texting it is much more difficult to tell if she is simply stating something, or being rude. Back in high school I was much more sensitive then I am now. Sometimes when her and I would text, I could not figure out if she was upset with me or not and my feelings would get really hurt. I just assumed that she was angry at me for something and felt terrible about it. Later, I learned that was just the way she communicated and to not be so sensitive about things.

Sometimes at work I make accurate attributions that help me. I work in cosmetics and in my department; we sell several different makeup brands, much like a Sephora. Philosophy is an expensive skin care line so usually the women looking at the Philosophy products spend more money than other customers. Knowing this, I try to be as knowledgeable and helpful as possible, in hopes that I can persuade the customer to purchase more products. I am helpful to every customer that walks into my department, but I have learned that women who shop for Philosophy products want that expert product knowledge and are more willing to spend money.

Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Revenge-Chapter 10

When I typed the word forgiveness into google 66,300,000 results appeared in .10 seconds, about 8,800,000 results for reconciliation, and about 50,700,000 for revenge. The word forgiveness produced a lot of websites with definitions and also techniques or information on how to forgive. There were also a lot of religious sites. I believe this produced the most results because a lot of people struggle with forgiveness. It is much easier to get angry at someone than it is to let go of sour emotions. People probably seek advice on how to forgive through the internet.
When I searched reconciliation, the first page was full of almost all definitions or links to religious(mostly catholic) websites. This word did not provide a lot of useful information for me, other than the definitions.
The websites for the word revenge were much different than those for forgiveness and reconciliation. They were all for a television series titled Revenge, except for one definition. There was also a Facebook page for the show. To get results that would benefit me, I would have to be more specific with what I type into the Google search engine.

Why Don't People Forgive?-Chapter Ten.

Abigail and Cahn explain that there are may reasons why people do not forgive. One reason is that the person who committed the offense has not admitted their, "wrongdoing, apologized, or asked for forgiveness"(179). If the other person has not addmitted their wrongdoing, the person who feels hurt has no desire to forgive.
The way a person has apologized also plays a role in whether or not a person will forgive them. "When a person is offended, being offered an apology that is too elaborate for the offense or too simple may result in a lack of forgiveness"(179). If I feel as if a person's apology is not sincere, I have a hard time forgiving them. Knowing that a person has actually thought about why I am upset and has taken my feelings into consideration is what makes me forgive them. I would much rather have no apology, than an apology that I know is not sincere.

Forgive- Chapter Ten

When I was in High School I had a boyfriend throughout my senior year. After we broke up, he began dating his best friend. Throughout the relationship I thought it was strange that him and this other girl were so close however, I trusted that they were just friends. After we broke up he told me he still had feelings for me and that there was a possibility of getting back together in the future. I mentioned his best friend to him and he promised that he had no feelings for her. A few days later we were at the same party, and I found him in the backyard with her. I approached him about it, and ended up punching him in the face. At the time, I was devastated. I felt confused and betrayed. Did he have feelings for her throughout our whole relationship?  Normally I try to talk things out and have good conflict management skills, but I really did feel like he deserve the hit. Although this is not something that bothers me now, it was very heartbreaking at the time. Luckily, this is the only betrayal I have ever had in my life. Years have passed and this situation no longer bothers me. I have no anger or hatred towards this person, because the situation does not matter to me anymore. It's weird how something that mattered so much at one point in time, can have little importance later on in life. 

Facebook-Chapter Nine

I do not have a Facebook or any other type of social networking website. I feel like it would be a place for drama and is almost like a dating site. If I were to make one, I would make sure people got a good impression of me. I don't know who would try to access my page, so I would make sure that it was appropriate for anyone to see. I have family members and coworkers on Facebook, so it would be important for me to make sure the content was appropriate.

I have many friends who complain about what has been posted on their Facebook walls. They have told me stories when  pictures of them drinking or smoking at parties had been posted on their walls and their families saw them. In my opinion, they are asking for it. If you are posing for pictures with your friends, you should expect them to get posted on Facebook or whatever social networking site you use. If you do not want these type of pictures posted, you need to tell your friends or disable them from being able to post things on your wall. Part of the reason I do not have a Facebook is because I want to keep my personal life private.

This relates to conflict and commuication because if someone were to post something that you do not want on your Facebook wall, you have to think of the best way to approach them about it. If someone is talking badly about you on Facebook, you have to decide how you are going to handle the situation. Facebook is just another way to have conflict and drama in your life. People who choose to use it need to know how to manage conflict situations.