Abuse or Discipline? Week Three

There is a big difference between being abusive and teaching your child a lesson. I believe a lot of parent’s cross the line of abuse and proper punishment because they feel as if they have lost control of a situation.I do not feel that physical contact is ever a proper punishment for doing something bad.

Growing up, my parents never once put their hands on me. As a child I got time outs and as a teen I was grounded or my privileges were taken away. In my opinion, these punishments were proper and effective. At a young age my parents taught me to have respect for others. Because of this respect I had for my parents, I hardly ever disobeyed them or broke their rules. If I did do something they didn’t approve of, rather than spank or hit me, my parents talked to me and explained why I was being punished. If my parents had ever been physical with me, I would have lost that respect and trust I shared with them.

One time my mom and I were playing around in the kitchen. She was pretending to be irritated at me and swat me with a pan. At the time we thought it was hilarious but her wrist ended up giving out and she accidentally tapped the top of my head with the pan. Although it was an accident and my mother felt terrible, my feelings were really hurt. If my parents had ever intentionally been physical with me in any way, I know that our relationship wouldn’t be as strong as it is today.

As adults when we get into an argument is it ever okay to slap someone or hit a person with a belt? In most circumstances this would be classified as abuse. So why is it any different with a child? If I would not hit my boyfriend or my parents for doing something bad, I would not hit my child. In my opinion, I think people overstep their authority to punish their children the second they lay their hands on them.

I feel as if children are able to understand that their will be repercussions for their bad actions without the parent ever having to lay a hand on them. I believe that actually explaining why the child is in trouble followed by another form of punishment other than spanking or hitting is far more effective and creates a better relationship between the parent and child.