There are three aspects to affective communication: the occasion, the other person, and your needs. An occasion is a situation, time, or location in which certain behaviors take place. What may be appropriate in one setting is not appropriate in another. We treat people according to the relationship we share with them, which is why it is important to recognize the other person. How you speak to your grandmother may be different than how you speak to your best friend. It is important to recognize these differences because these people are directly affected by your behavior. Lastly, you need to recognize your needs. Abigail and Cahn explain that, “We must satisfy at least some of our needs if we want to live a life worth living, but some needs are better put off at least temporarily or reduced to a less prominent position”(63). Although it is important to identify you needs, it is just as important to compromise and work with the other person in order to come to a resolution.
I remember a time where my boyfriend and I were just not getting along. We were extremely irritated with one another and were not able to communicate without pointless bickering. We had gone to my parent’s house for a family BBQ and it was obvious to everyone that we were not getting along. We realized that this was not the appropriate occasion to be bickering and decided to save the argument for a better time where we would be able to talk in private and come up with an agreement to satisfy both of our needs.
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